Dry January? Dry Life?

I even had a friend reach out with some questions asking for some advice - which simultaneously humbled me and fed my ego LOL - because who doesn't really enjoy helping others? 

A couple of the questions asked were 'how did you do it'? And 'what was [essentially] your rock bottom'?

These questions prompted me to finally sit down and maybe start writing that blog I’ve been meaning to start writing - for oh, about eight months now. Especially since it’s coming up on the New Year and quite a few people are motivated by Dry January.

Let’s start with the hard and uncomfortable question first - what was my rock bottom? To find the bottom I feel like I have to start at the top. Some addicts can pinpoint when their addiction started. I’m not one of those addicts. Mine was fairly progressive over the span of about 8 or 9 years and was primarily prompted by un-treated mental health symptoms [anxiety and depression and some pretty severe postpartum depression - but the last 4 or 5 were the worst [more stories to come - basically I won quite a few trophies and Super Bowl rings - it was time to retire].

I decided that my last drink was Christmas Eve 2021 on Christmas morning when I woke up with yet another hangover, feeling like hot garbage, trying to act excited for my kids at 6 AM, but really I was trying not to puke - or to pour another drink to feel halfway decent to ‘get through the day’. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t feel like that anymore. I couldn’t not be present for my boys like that. I just……couldn’t.  After 3 or 4 failed attempts this was it. THIS was my time. 

Here’s how I made it through the first 2 weeks [because if you really do want to quit for any sort of significant amount of time it’s a marathon not a race and you really DO have to take to it ‘one day at a time’]:

I watched A LOT of Intervention - especially the ones with the alcoholics. It helped to remind me what alcohol actually does to you, what I actually look like when I’m drunk like that,  and what I was starting to become. Honest to God it helped. Not to mention the success stories - if they can do it so can I God Dammit.

I drank A LOT of Bubly and Aha. My favorite alcoholic beverages were Truly’s and White Claws. Plain and simple - I tricked my brain, which, for me, helped me with my cravings tremendously. And hydrated at the same time - which is so important when you’re experiencing PAWS [post-acute withdrawal symptoms].   I recently splurged and bought a Soda Stream on sale [$50.00 off - WHAT?! I had to swoop that up] and replaced by shot glass/booze bar with a full on Bubly bar and I love everything about it.

I didn’t go to AA meetings but I listened to the Recovery Elevator podcast constantly. It helped to be able to listen to stories from people who were experiencing, and have experienced, the same thing I was going through. It helped to learn about their coping skills - it was my own little support group that didn’t involve leaving my comfort zone and meeting new people - which I was not ready for.

I basically treated myself like a toddler and utilized  HALT constantly [hungry, angry, lonely, tired] - addicts are triggered when their needs are not being met - which ‘need’ is missing when you’re feeling triggered? Are you hungry? Eat. Are you thirsty? Drink. Tired? Try to take a nap or go somewhere alone to decompress. Lonely? Reach out to someone. Anyone. Chances are they’ve been missing you and will be thrilled to hear from you. Make sure your basic needs are met at all times. It’ll help to reduce your anxiety, which will, in turn, help to reduce your cravings to drink.

I indulged in any sort of snack I wanted for, well, for A WHILE. Alcohol has TONS of sugar in it, so not only are you detoxing from the booze, but you’re also detoxing from the sugar. Take it easy on yourself in the first couple of weeks and eat those cookies, cupcakes, gummy bears, whatever - eventually the sugar cravings decrease as well.

I practically devoured ‘The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober’ by Catherine Gray.  Seriously -  no one in my house was allowed to talk to me - and I journaled and took notes. Catherine’s story is so relatable which I desperately needed. And it was not the first time I’ve read that book - it’s THAT good. Amongst 2 others that were life lines for me.